I can't resist

I've been in meetings all week with the other sophomore English teachers at my school, aligning our curriculum and creating some common assessments for the upcoming year. I know, it sounds boring, but it was actually really beneficial. I'm excited and grateful that we'll all be on the same page (for once). And those crazy kids can't complain about so-and-so being easier or harder than so-and-so. The suckers will never know what hit them. Mwahaahaa.

Anyway, our conversation lead to common errors that we see in students' writing. But here's the thing - I don't just see these mistakes in my students' writing; I see them everywhere!! We narrowed it down to a list of 20 of the most glaring errors (most of them homophones) that adults have no excuse for making. And because I assume you care, I'm sharing the first five quick and dirty lessons with you.

Its is possessive.
It's is a contraction.
The dragon opened its legs; apparently it's a hermaphrodite.
Obviously the clause after the semicolon was inspired by the one preceding it.

Alot is not a word. Ever. Quit using it.
A lot indicates quantity.
Allot is a verb. It indicates distribution.
Brad allotted me 50 dollars to spend in Park City. I have a lot of explaining to do.
If this misusage has ever bothered you, check out this gem on Rob's blog for some coping mechanisms.

To is a preposition.
Too is an adverb (meaning "also" or "in excess").
Two is a number.
Adam, Jessalyn, Brad, and I were two hours too late to get into The Price is Right.
This true story involves Jack in the Box, a case of carsickness, and a frantic search for a restroom in a Los Angeles alley.

There shows location.
Their shows possession.
They're is a contraction.
The monkeys are over there. I think they're eating their own feces.
I shielded Kaiya from a similar scene at the zoo last week.

Your is possessive.
You're is a contraction.
You're really pretty. It's too bad your kids aren't.
No, sensitive reader, this is not directed at you.


Next up: affect/effect, then/than, whether/weather, regardless/irregardless, and good/well. Class dismissed.

If you're lucky, you can get my lecture on subject-verb agreement at some point too.

Comments

LEE BIEN said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
LEE BIEN said…
1. Awesome post.
2. Funny examples/sentences.
3. Extremely necessary information.
4. Sounds slightly snooty.
5. But YOU are not.
Sunshine said…
I can only imagine you cringing behide your computer when you read my blog! I am horrible! Thanks for the lesson :) I think I also need help with the use of commas...I never know where they go...
Melinda said…
Is this a foreshadowing of things to come? Grammar Thursdays... I think most of us need it. :) I try really hard to use appropriate grammar even though I was raised in Spanish Fork. ;) It does drive me nuts when I see these mistakes (and others) but I'm sure I do it too at times! For all of humankind I would like to apologize. ;)
Robby said…
I love my pet alot and I don't think I'll ever get rid of him! ;-)
Laurel said…
Please, please, please do the I-vs.-me argument here!!!
Karin said…
Love it! Glad Rob's alot made the list. So far I've aced this class.
However, I'm affraid to see the effect of my response to "how are you doing". Than I'll really be in trouble, irregardless of how hard I try- weather your my teacher or not. Hope you're doing good.
Lindsi Jo said…
I know I win the award for doing everything WRONG and I hate to admit it, but I really don't care :) Is that just terrible of me??? I guess if I worked in a professional setting it would be different, but since my grammar possibilities are facebook, blogging, and texts right now in my life, you can see where I have lost ALL concept of grammar in my ripe old age of 26 :) Don't hate me because I am illiterate :)
Anonymous said…
Oh my gosh I just saw a link posted by a friend on facebook that is so funny and similar to your post. Here, you should see because you might think it's funny too: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling
Scott and Megan said…
oh man, you're good. For the record, every time I leave a comment on your blog I am nervous that once you look at it you think I'm an idiot. :)
Lindsay said…
Just to point out one error in your post, "our conversation lead" should be, "our conversation led."

;)

Love ya!