Friday, May 29, 2009

"Waiting for the clock to strike three - when it's three o'clock we'll be free."

See that? That's an empty classroom. An empty classroom that will remain empty until August 19th. What bliss is mine.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

necesito su ayuda

My husband is going to make fun of me when he sees this post, because it only proves that I am incapable of making my own decisions.

We're finally buying new couches (wahoo!) and we've pretty much narrowed it down to these two...
Exhibit A

Exhibit B

I think they'd both look good in my living room. (The first one is not as orange as it looks in the picture, I promise. It's actually kind of a cool reddish-brown.)

Keep in mind: they will be like 6 feet away from my kitchen table, which has really dark black/brown leather chairs. (They're about the same color as the latter couch... and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.)

The sale ends on Monday, so I need to decide ASAFP.

Monday, May 18, 2009

"...and TOTALLY redeem yourself!!!" (that's supposed to sound like Harry Dunne)

Okay, so I feel guilty for being so mean about my students last week. Everybody has their days right? Well, Friday was mine. And although I like to make fun of my students for silly things like spelling errors (“theretining” = threatening) and a complete lack of motivation, I really do love them.

I love those “light bulb moments” when a kid finally gets a concept and his whole countenance changes. He’s so proud of himself and I’m so proud of him.
I love it when a girl really connects with the literature because she relates to a character. (This happens every spring with Helena in A Midsummer Night’s Dream.)
I love it when my students pass the UBSCT.
I love it when the rowdy boys make their computers talk, and I love that I have to pretend to be offended at the inappropriate robot-voice innuendo.
I love watching my sophomores mature throughout the year.
I love it when the boys and girls actually sit next to each other and have real conversations. (No flirting, no texting, really talking)
I also love watching the awkward love-struck glances across the room when they think they’re being sly.
I love working one-on-one with a kid before school, during lunch, and after school to get her to pass. I’m serious. I love it when both of our hard work pays off.
I love going to after-school events and being surprised at who is holding hands with whom.
I love seeing my students after Christmas break and realizing that I missed them.
I love it when I compare literature to movies or TV shows and they all look at me like I’m breaking the rules.
I love it when past students stop by or email me to see how I’m doing.
I love teaching them homophones and hearing them giggle when I ask them what the root word “homo” means.

And the list goes on. Yes, I have to put up with immeasurable amounts of crap, but it really is worth it.

Friday, May 15, 2009


I have this Teachers’ Phrase Stamp that I inherited from my desk’s previous owner. There are twelve phrases on the stamp, so I can be lazy and stamp instructions on my students’ papers like, “Very Good” or “Improving” or “Watch Punctuation” or “See Me”.

But I never use it. It feels too impersonal.

However, after grading term papers over the last couple of days, realizing that only a handful of my students actually did the project correctly (even though we’ve been working on it for two months), and losing all hope for America’s future, I’m considering getting my own phrase stamp made.

Here are my twelve phrases:

1. What is wrong with you?
2. Repeat elementary school.
3. Why can’t you follow simple instructions?
4. At least you got your name right.
5. Who taught you how to spell?
6. Seriously!??
7. So…I guess you’re staying in Payson forever, then?
8. Dumbass.
9. Hope you like hairnets.
10. I blame your parents.
11. Does this B.S. work with your other teachers?
12. You have now failed my class. Go cry to the counselors. They will undermine my authority, override my grade or let you make up the credit via asinine packets, and let you graduate early.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Kaiya is fat.

...and I've never been more proud.
She's 90th percentile in height, weight, and head size.
At least she's proportionate.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Baby Einstein cleans my house.

Okay, maybe not literally. But I've definitely come to appreciate its hypnotic capabilities.

Here are some photos from our trip to Vegas last weekend with the Bradfords. Obviously I had the camera. I'll say this much; I'm never staying on the strip again (...something about the Rio's new "Brazilian" pool tipped the scale).

Can you tell how psyched Brad is to be carrying Kaiya around the outlet mall kangaroo-style? (Or how psyched he is to be at the outlet mall altogether?)

And of course, Kaiya hated her first aquatic experience. But hello? How cute is her swimsuit?!