Thursday, December 13, 2007

apostrophes: the bane of my existence

There is absolutely no way to say this without sounding like a huge, obsessive, English nerd, JERK…. But I’m sorry. I can’t help it. If I get one more Christmas present/card/letter/friendly hallow addressed to “THE WALKER’S” there is going to be Hell to pay.

“The Walker’s” (with an apostrophe) shows possession. So I ask, to whom/what are you addressing said gift….The Walker’s what? The Walker’s mailbox? The Walker’s doorstep? The Walker’s Christmas tree? And who is this elusive (singular) Walker? Is it the Texas Ranger? Because if you’re intending to address something to both Brad and Michelle, you would need to put the apostrophe in the plural form so we’re both represented, i.e.: The Walkers’ …However, the question still arises: “The Walkers’ what?” We’re still dabbling in the confusing plural possessive apostrophe usage.

So please, next time you address a gift to “The Walkers,” “The Smiths,” or “The Joneses” (I know, it looks funny but it’s right), don’t misuse the apostrophe. In fact, don’t use him at all. He’s a small punctuation mark but he has feelings, and he doesn’t like to be thrown into places where he’s unwelcome.

I know that no one cares about this as much as I do. I’m guessing that no one even notices where apostrophes are placed on things as trivial as gift tags. I'm also guessing that some of you have hurt feelings; I promise, that was never my intention. And I’m sure that you’re all sick of my rant.

The Walkers

Friday, December 7, 2007

I might like my job...

Okay... so many of you know that I was coerced, through a combination of an overactive conscience and a couple extra "K's" in my paycheck, into being the Speech and Debate Advisor at my school this year. Why would they ask me? You wonder. I wonder too. You may also wonder if I know the first thing about Speech and Debate. The answer is no. But they were desperate, and I can't say no. (I guess I need to learn how to defend myself...or debate.)

Anyway, last weekend we competed in our second tournament of the year, in Layton. (The above picture is the common area at Northridge High; this was where my students played Halo in-between events.) It was a huge two-day event, and we stayed overnight at a ghetto hotel and everything. I was really worried about chaperoning rambunctious teenagers with raging hormones OVERNIGHT... but surprisingly, things went really well. (Thanks to Becca and Brett!!) True Story: assuming they would be up to no good, I was checking on them every ten minutes. I thought I heard the girls in the hallway, so I went to bug them again right before bed, and get this... they were actually in their room and actually reading their scriptures! Wow. Kinda weird, but wow.

So basically I have the best group of kids ever. Now... I did get the chance to judge some of the events, and the kids at the other schools are crazy! There was one chick who reminded me exactly of Paris Geller from Gilmore Girls. She was just so snooty and mean, and sharp-tongued. I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing. She and her teammate seriously argued about the definition of a word for ten minutes. It was pretty annoying. But, it was Paris, so it was funny.

I guess my point is, that even though I was far from excited about undertaking this extra job, I'm starting to like it. I still don't know what I'll do next year (or even where I'll be working, for that matter), but it's turned out to be a fun, albeit time-consuming, career move.